Yep, I said it. Groundhog Day is canceled.
Let me explain. No, I’m not talking about the cute furry creature that ceremoniously comes out of his burrow to see his shadow or not. I am referring to the feeling that every day is the same day on repeat. Like the 1993 movie with Bill Murray and Andi MacDowell.
Let me explain further…I actually liked that movie, but I don’t like feeling stuck or having the feeling that every day is more of the same.
I learned a really hard, but good lesson the other day in a “heated discussion” with my husband.
We were arguing about something that, honestly, I can’t remember about what anymore but his response to the following statement was an aha moment for me.
I said something during this discussion like, “I am a pretty happy, content and sometimes silly person.” And he said, “that’s only a small part of who you are.” Which I in turn said that he was mistaken, maybe in words not as nice as these. He followed by saying, “I don’t ever get to see that person. You share her with everyone else but me.”
In my coaching practice, I ask my clients at the end of each session, what was your aha, appreciation or insight from this session. I love this part, because many times I have literally seen the light bulb go off in the session where my client has had an aha moment. It’s beautiful!
That comment stopped me in my tracks. It was my “aha moment.”
I was, well I still am, but working on it, working my schedule every day. Get up, get ready, make sure our kid is up (Just one kid now – Our teenagers manage their own schedule) and getting ready, make coffee, sometimes working out or doing yoga in the morning, take our kid to school, log on to my work computer (I work from home), take and make calls, answer emails, work on projects, take a break for lunch, repeat the same tasks for the second half of the work day. (Sometimes I get a shower too, sometimes my hair is in a messy bun).
Make sure our kids are good when they get home from school, homework done. Finish up work, take the dog for a walk, start dinner, eat, clean up dinner, take a kid to practice or some activity, wind down, watch a show and go to bed.
REPEAT every day, just like the movie “Groundhog Day.”
I am a pretty structured person. I enjoy making lists and checking my list. I enjoy my routine. It helps me with focus, it helps me accomplish my goals and helps me feel less scattered – or a better way to say that it brings me a sense of calm. BUT if something deviates from the “schedule” or my plan, my sense of calm erodes quickly. And, who gets the stressed out Jen? My husband and my kids.
The challenge with this is…life throws us many curve balls, many chances to pivot or shift or deviate from the norm.
Notice I said chances.
These are opportunities for us to get out of that day-to-day rut, the life on repeat and find peace and calm in the chaos. My chance to take a breath and focus on what’s really important.
My people.
Because those moments, those opportunities, those chances are what makes our lives so wonderful!
Also, gripping so tight to structure, the norm, our routines can cause us to miss the beauty all around us. That chance to go to the skatepark with my son and husband in the afternoon. That chance to sit and talk with my girls with no phones, or distractions. The moments I can spend at home. Those times that call for spontaneous dancing!
My need to control or follow the structure I set for my life has enabled me to achieve and grow myself in life and work, but I have also become someone I am not proud of in my home life to try to keep that structure intact.
I don’t want to live my life in “Groundhog Day” not learning from my mistakes, not be my authentic self because of norms or routines or things that are no longer serving me in my life now.
I want to be freed from that jail I have put myself in, freed from worry if we break from “schedule,” and freed from being so serious.
I want the same for you.
Take some time today to break free from the “norm” and be silly, do something spontaneous,
Live free!
